Semifinalists
He Was The Whole World to Me by Dana Young, Anthony, KS
Just About Us by Mike Brandon, Joplin, MO
Songs From Home by Matt Stemme, Castiac, CA
Corner Bar by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
The Life We Know and Love by Roy Williams, Woodbridge, ONT, Canada
So Many Dreams by Dana Young, Anthony, KS
Salesman by Ryan Eichenwald, Dallas, Tx
Under The Canopy by Mitchell Kopnick, Janesville, WI
A Yard Full of Weeds by Dana Young, Anthony, KS
Nothing Changes Life Like Living by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Judges comments about semifinalists:
He Was The Whole World to Me - J1: good rhyme scheme, J2: Lyrics have emotional appeal. Sweet lyrics. Good form, rhyme and meter. Could not really see much to change. J3: Well written, tells a good story, has emotional impact.
Just About Us - J1: near rhymes
Songs From Home - J1: very homey
Corner Bar - J1: good rhyme scheme. J2: Good story line with emotional appeal. Good meter/rhyme. I would re-position the chorus after 2nd verse and 4th verse and end it with the 5th verse to create better flow of song. J3: good idea, good story, too many verses. Try combining 1st and 2nd verse into one verse with more impact.
So Many Dreams - J2: Has emotional impact. Good structure/ rhyme/meter.
Salesman - J 2: Good form. Rhyme scheme could use a little help. Interesting point of view of the life of a salesman.
Under The Canopy - J2: Really like the lyrics. Rhyme and meter works, but unsure about the form and structure - there is no chorus or bridge, but could work.
A Yard Full of Weeds - J3: Good imagery, cleverly written, original
Nothing Changes Life Like Living - J3: Too long to the chorus. Move chorus up to after 2nd verse
Some good titles:
All Drinks Aside by Michael Junek, Cameron, TX
Dirt From Your Jeans by Gino Loti, W. Palm Beach, FL
Kiss Me Before I Flat Line by Michelle Jenkins, Bolivar, MO
Dentures For Sale or Rent, by Michelle Jenkins, Bolivar, MO. - written to the tune of "King of the Road", is very funny and a good way to practice writing lyrics by picking a popular song. We did an exercise of writing to the "Let I Be" melody at one of the DSA meetings .
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