FALL 2014 LYRIC CONTEST WINNERS

            SEMIFINALISTS
         Bounce by John Hyden, Ralston, NE
         The Road of Life by Catherine Pitman, Tualatin, OR
         Stuff by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ    
         Angels Down The Road by John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO
         Three Toed Wolf by Rio King, Plano, TX
         Hide N Watch by Rio King, Plano, TX

            WINNERS
1st Place
         The Road of Life © Catherine Pitman, Tualatin, OR
This is a song of service that is similar to other songs of this genre but is able to muster just enough of a new spin that it has very good emotional impact. The image of a light shining on a dark road of life and showing the way is very good.  The hook is in the first sentence of the lyric but it sets the stage and mood of the song.  Overall, the song has very good appeal, focus, phrasing, and form.
When the road of life grows dark and cold,
And I feel I’m all alone,
There’s a guiding light shinning bright
That will lead me home….

Countless joys and sorrows fill my life,
And at times my fears take hold,
With a little prayer God will be there,
With his love and strength of old

Chorus

I believe in Him…
He will never let me down.
I believe in him….
He comforts me,
Forgives my sin

When I feel that I have lost my way,
And life’s burdens take their toll,
I just let God in and trust in Him,
For His Love has touched my soul.

I have seen His wonders here on earth,
I have felt His power too,
He has carried me set burdens free,
With a strength steadfast and true.

Chorus

I believe in Him…
He will never let me down.
I believe in him….
He comforts me,
Forgives my sin

If your road of life grows dark and cold,
And you feel you walk alone,
Steadfast and true, God’s love for you,
Is there to lead you home.
His love will lead you home.

2nd Place   
     Stuff © Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
While it's not certain the writer intended for this song to be a blues song, it has the feel of a slow blues one and in that respect it is a good one.  It doesn't follow a standard blues form with repetitive lines so it winds up saying a more than what most blues songs do and has very good emotional impact. The song title should actually be "The Other Stuff" because the song is really about the stuff of memories that can't be physically divided when a couple splits up.

V-1 PLEASE RECONSIDER BABY, I DON’T WANT YOU TO GO
I’M NOT SURE WHY YOU’RE LEAVING, WHAT ELSE DON’T I KNOW
DIVORCE IS NOT THE ANSWER, THE PREACHER SAID FOREVER
WE’RE STILL IN LOVE, WE JUST CAN’T LIVE TOGETHER

V-2 THEY SAY NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, AND I GUESS IT’S TRUE
YOU’VE SEEN TOO MUCH OF ME, AND I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU
TAKE YOUR HALF OF EVERYTHING, I HOPE IT’S ENOUGH
THAT PART SHOULD BE EASY, NOW ABOUT THE OTHER STUFF

CHORUS: YOU KNOW THE STUFF I’M TALKING BOUT, THE MEMORIES WE MADE
TAKE ALL THOSE BOOKS AND OUR MUSIC, EVEN HALF MY PENSION
HOW ABOUT OUR WEDDING PICTURE, DO I JUST WATCH IT FADE
NOW ABOUT THOSE MEMORIES, AND STUFF IT HURTS TO MENTION
BRIDGE: SOME STUFF DOESN’T CUT IN HALF, YOU CAN’T DIVIDE THE PAST
OR SPLIT APART THE DREAM, WE WERE SO SURE WOULD LAST
GOING THROUGH THE ATTIC TREASURES, TOGETHER WILL BE TOUGH

WE’LL GET IT DONE SOMEHOW, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER STUFF

CHORUS: YOU KNOW THE STUFF I’M TALKING BOUT, THE MEMORIES WE MADE
TAKE ALL THOSE BOOKS AND OUR MUSIC, EVEN HALF MY PENSION
HOW ABOUT OUR WEDDING PICTURE, DO I JUST WATCH IT FADE
NOW ABOUT THOSE MEMORIES, AND STUFF IT HURTS TO MENTION
3rd Place
            Hide N Watch © Rio King, Plano, TX
This is a song that puts a cute spin on an old expression that means "if you don't believe me wait and see what happens". The hook is very good and it has very good phrasing/cadence and a very good rhyme scheme.
Verse1    When I was a little shaver
        Momma didn’t need no switch
        If I wasn’t on my best behavior
        Momma promised this

Chorus1    Hide ‘n watch.  I'm gonna come and getcha
        Hide ‘n watch.  Gonna catchya you betcha
        You can run, but you can’t hide. 
        Gonna take away your pony ride.
        Hide ‘n watch
        Hide ‘n watch

Verse2        Dad just smiled when I was sixteen
        And he handed me the pickup key
        Said, Son take care of this machine
        Or you’re gonna hear from me
   
Chorus2    Hide ‘n watch.  Gonna come and getcha
        Hide ‘n watch.  I'm gonna catchya you betcha
         You can run, but you can’t hide. 
        Gonna take away your ride...

Veres3        I can’t forget the night we met
        And, working to steal a kiss
        You kept playin’ so hard to get
        So, I promised this

Chorus3    Hide ‘n watch.  Gonna come and getcha
        Hide ‘n watch.  Gonna catchya you betcha
        You can run, but you can’t hide. 
        Gonna take your heart for a ride,
        Hide ‘n watch
        Hide ‘n watch

Verse4        We've got a child that we adore
        A sweet All American miss
        When all the boys come to our front door
        I tell ‘em this

Chorus4    Hide ‘n watch.  Gonna come and getcha
        Hide ‘n watch.  Gonna catchya you betcha
        You can run, but you can’t hide. 
        And if I find out she cried

Outro        Hide ‘n watch.  Gonna come and getcha
        Hide ‘n watch.  Gonna catchya you betcha
        Hide ‘n watch.

SUMMER 2014 LYRIC CONTEST WINNERS

SEMIFINALISTS
Angels Down the Road by John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO
Peace Is Not So Far Away by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ 
I Hope You Don’t Mind by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Last Bull, Last Ride by Robert Marshall, Akron, OH
Write Me a Love Song by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Corn Bread by Don Wall, Dallas, Tx

WINNERS
1st Place
Angels Down the Road © John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO
  This songwriter has entered the contest with this song before. This is the better version. It could still use a little tightening. But the concept is good. The imagery is strong, as in "dirty hands and angel faces," and "dinosaurs in puffy white skies." The song has good emotional impact, originality, appeal, focus, and form.
There are angels up above
That’s something we all know
And if you’re lucky enough in love
There are angels living right down the road

Right down the road
There are sand box secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road

There’s beauty that’s lighter than the air
A beacon of sun kissed flaxen hair
Love that’s filled with good dreams
On a canvas painted peaches and cream

Down the road

Sweetness is a caramel surprise
With a pool of dark chocolate eyes
Watching clouds of butterflies fly
And finding dinosaurs in puffy white skies

Right down the road
There are sandbox secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road

In the shadows of long summer hours
Angels are hiding behind long legged flowers
Right down the road
Rosy red roses put on a spring show
Rosy red noses when winter winds blow
And angels making angels in the snow
Right down the road
In the glow of an autumn sunset delight
Look for them with all of your might
There are angels hiding in plain sight
Right down the road

Right down the road
There are sandbox secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road

2nd Place
But I'm Cold and Tired, I Hope You Don’t Mind © Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
    The title used was the last line of the chorus. I shortened it because it was too long and I think this is better. It leaves a little more to the imagination. The best part about this song is the story. The verses could use a little more tightening with more poignant word usage. The second line of the chorus should be dropped, it’s unnecessary. The emotional impact was high, the hook, appeal, and form good. An original song - the tightening would make it more so.                                        
             
CHORUS:  WE TALKED FOR A WHILE, AS THE STORM PASSED BY 
                    TIME WAS RUNNING OUT, IT WAS NOW OR NEVER                    
                    I WANTED TO KISS HER, BUT I WAS NERVOUS AND SHY                                       
                    I LOOKED IN HER EYES, AND SAID I NEED YOU FOREVER
                    SHE SMILED BACK, AND SAID YOU’VE BEEN VERY KIND   
                    BUT I’M COLD AND TIRED, I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND         

V-1  SHE WAS WAITING FOR A BUS, THAT NEVER DID COME
        SHE NEEDED SOME HELP NOW, AND I WAS THE ONE
        I ASKED WHAT CAN I DO, SHE SAID I NEED TO GET HOME
       WE WALKED THERE TOGETHER, SHE WOULDN’T TRY IT ALONE

V-2  RAIN WAS POURING DOWN, THUNDER CRASHING ABOVE
        BUT I DIDN’T HEAR A THING, I WAS FALLING IN LOVE 
        I HELD MY UMBRELLA, RIGHT OVER HER HEAD
       THE WIND WAS HOWLING, NOT SURE WHAT SHE SAID

V-3  WHEN WE FINALLY GOT THERE, IT WAS AWKWARD AT BEST
        SHE SAID THANKS A LOT, I IMAGINED THE REST
        MY TOUNGE WAS TIED, IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
        SHE SAID COME IN AND DRY OFF, THAT SOUNDED JUST RIGHT
                                                       
 CHORUS:  WE TALKED FOR A WHILE, AS THE STORM PASSED BY 
                    WAS RUNNING OUT, IT WAS NOW OR NEVER                    
                    I WANTED TO KISS HER, BUT I WAS NERVOUS AND SHY                                       
                    I LOOKED IN HER EYES, AND SAID I NEED YOU FOREVER 
                    SHE SMILED BACK, AND SAID YOU’VE BEEN VERY KIND   
                    BUT I’M COLD AND TIRED, I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND           

 V-4  I SLOWLY WALKED OUT, SAID GOOD BYE FROM THE DOOR
        MY MOUTH OPENED UP, BUT I COULDN’T SAY ANYMORE
        IT WAS A LONG WALK HOME, I NEEDED A FRIEND
        MAYBE TOMORROW, IT’LL BE RAINING AGAIN                         

3rd Place
Write Me a Love Song © Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
  An original take on an unoriginal idea. Reading the title I was not expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised. Fortunately, the songwriter gave it only the thought required - not overthinking it and not overly simplistic. The hook, appeal, focus form and phrasing are good. A good song. With the right music and singer, it would be even better.
                                       
 CHORUS:  WRITE ME A LOVE SONG, AND MEAN EVERY WORD
                      MAKE IT THE SWEETEST, SONG EVER HEARD
                      DON’T KEEP IT SHORT, PLEASE MAKE IT LONG
                      THEN SING IT TO ME, MY OWN LOVE SONG

V-1  WRITE ABOUT ME, PUT MY NAME IN THE VERSE
         TALK ABOUT LOVE, BUT MENTION ME FIRST
         TELL THE WHOLE WORLD, JUST HOW YOU FEEL
         WRITE ME A LOVE SONG, KEEP EVERY WORD REAL

 V-2 TAKE ALL THOSE WORDS, YOU HIDE IN YOUR HEAD
        AN’ PUT THEM IN THE SONGBOOK, YOU KEEP BY YOUR BED 
         I CAN’T WAIT TO READ IT, I JUST HAVE TO SEE
         THE STORY YOU TELL, IN A SONG ABOUT ME 

 V-3  FILL UP MY SONG, WITH RHYTHM AND RYME
       SING IT ON KEY, AN’ PLAY IT IN TIME
       DON’T TRY TOO HARD, WRITE WHAT COMES TO MIND
       ALL ABOUT US, AND THE LOVE WE FIND

 V-4  WRITE ME A SONG, THAT’LL LAST ALL MY LIFE
          AND SING IT TO ME, WHEN I MAKE YOU MY WIFE
           PUT IT ON A RECORD, AN’ I’LL PAINT IT GOLD
          AND PLAY IT A MILLION TIMES, LOVE NEVER SOUNDS OLD