Winner Larry Dodge, middle, is presented a check and certificate at the Nov. 8 DSA 2nd Tuesday Meeting by Lyric Contest Director, Nancy Rynders, left, and DSA President Buck Morgan, right.
Semifinalists
The Way It Used To Be by Larry Dodge
Don't Put Down My Pickup by Joel Williams
Twenty Something Years Ago by Joel Williams
Laundromat Love by Larry Dodge
First Place
THE WAY IT USED TO BE ©2011 Larry Dodge
I picked this song because I think it is relivant to the way the marjority of Americans are thinking right now. I will critique as I type. I will put in paranthesis my changes. I tried to make the meters match.
VERSE 1
I remember when our Uncle Sam
Stood for life and liberty
When our country offered everyone
The opportunity
To chase and capture happiness
And rejoice that we were free
When (Yes,) we admired Norman Rockwell
'Cause he painted you and me
CHORUS
You can say that I'm outdated
I'm old hat, I'm history
But I preferred the USA
The way it used to be
VERSE 2
I remember that we learned in school
How our country was the best
Of all the world's nations (Of all the countries in the world)
We stood (way) above the rest
Our biggest worries were so small
Would we pass the spelling test?
Would our team win the (football) game?
Could our car outrun the rest? (find a better line here)
REPEAT CHORUS
VERSE 3
But today the times are different (Now our government is different)
Many things have gone downhill (As we watch it go downhill)
We used to have a Bill of Rights
Now we've only got the bill
We've watched (seen) our jobs swim overseas
And we're always in a war
The rich keep getting richer (Entitlements keep growing)
Begging Uncle Sam for more
REPEAT CHORUS
TAG
Yes, I preferred the USA
The way it used to be
Second Place
DON'T PUT DOWN MY PICK-UP ©1998 Joel Williams
This is a cute country song that a lot of guys could relate to and it's cleverly written. I didn't change much.
VERSE 1
I treat her like a lady; I never put her down
I'm proud to be with her when we're out on the town
I know she ain't so pretty and she's got a lotta' miles
But when we're out together, everyone turns and smiles
Now she's been good to me since back in sixty-two
That's when I brought her home, brand spankin' new
So you're walking (on) thin ice, you're pushin' your luck
If you say something bad 'bout my pick-up truck
CHORUS
Don't put down my pick-up, my red-neck Cadillac
With the guns in the window and the beer cans in the back
She's a Southern Comfort for this good ole country boy
Don't put down my pick-up...she's my pride and joy
VERSE 2
She's got some dents and scratches from the scrapes we've been thru
But that don't bother me 'cause I've got some, too
She's got a Chevy engine sittin' on a Ford chassis
And those three hundred horses make her kind of sassy
She could use another coat of camouflage paint
But I like what she is and I like what she ain't
So you'll hear the thunder roar, you'll think that lightning struck
If you say something bad 'bout my pick-up truck
REPEAT CHORUS
VERSE 3
Now I never had a woman that I could get to stay
When I ask 'em "why", this is all they'd say
I think you're pretty cute but I could never be stuck
With a guy who spends all his money on his pick -up truck
But she'll never nag and she'll never be late
She'll never say "watch it" when I pat her tailgate
(So) You'd better come out swingin', you'd better learn to duck
If you saty something bad 'bout my pick-up truck
REPEAT CHORUS
Third Place
TWENTY-SOMETHING YEARS AGO ©2003 Joel Williams
This song tells a good story, but the writer needs to match his meters in the verses. Also, it gets a little wordy. The same thing could be said with shorter lines and more "punch". The chorus should stay the same. Note this song was not submitted in the proper format.
He was on the road to Nashville with a guitar on his back, When the trucker stopped to offer him a ride.
"Climb aboard, son, and sing me your song," And the young man said, "I'm much obliged."
"Let me guess your story," the old trucker said As they rolled down the highway in his rig.
"You're going to Music City to be a country star, You've paid all your dues, now you wanta' hit it big;
And everybody says, 'You should be in Nashville and playing on the radio.
The Grand Ole Opry's where you need to be, and they're looking for you down on Music Row. I've been there myself with a pocketful of dreams, twenty-something years ago.
The trucker stared ahead with never a word.
The wheels whined across Tennessee.
The boy knew better than to break the silence; The old man was stuck in his memories.
Then finally he spoke, with a soft, breaking voice, "Son, listen to the wisdom of my years;
Every road into Nashville's a highway of dreams,
If you leave before you make it, They're just trails oftears.
Now everybody said, I should be in Nashville and playing on the radio,
The Grand Ole Opry was where I should be, and they were looking for me down on Music Row. But my pocketful of dreams was turned inside-out, twenty-something years ago.
The boy picked up his guitar and he tuned all the strings And he started to playa country song.
The old man turned, he said "Hey, I know that tune," And he started to sing along.
They must have sung a hundred songs as they rode through the night.
They were lost in the music for a while.
As they pulled into a truckstop in the morning light,
The boy put down his guitar and the old trucker smiled,
He said, "Boy, You should be in Nashville and playing on the radio.
The Grand Ole Opry is where you need to be, They're looking for you down on Music Row.
And somewhere down the road when you're a country star and you're playing in your biggest show Just tell the folks you want to dedicate a song to your old trucker friend, Joe
Who gave you a ride on the highway of dreams, twenty-something years ago.
(Spoken) "By-the-way, Son, Good Luck and thanks for the ride."
Here is my version of a verse.
My friends all said I should be on the radio
Performing in Nashville was where I need to be
And I'd be a hit down on Music Row
But my pocketful of dreams fell apart at the seams
Twenty-something years ago
Then I would add this bridge before repeating the same chorus again
BRIDGE
While you're in Nashville
You should happen to make it big
Remember your trucker friend, Joe
Who gave you a ride on the highwy of dreams
Just a few years ago
Honorable Mention
LAUNDROMAT LOVE ©2011 Larry Dodge
Very cute title. The choruses need to be the same. I'd like to see "loads of love" in the chorus. Also, you really made her his bride pretty fast...I'd just stick to the love part.
I met the love of my life at a laundromat
I know it sounds funny but it's an actual fact
She was folding lingerie when our gazes met
Across the top of the tables near the TV set
Until she looked at me she'd been watching a soap
She caught me glancing at her undies like a genuine dope
Then she packed 'em in a basket as her face went red
And I knew I should be minding my own business instead
Chorus 1:
LAUNDROMAT LOVE, LAUNDROMAT LOVE
Came to light underneath the fluorescents above
Looks like she's figured out what I'm thinkin' of
So I'd better keep it clean if I want LAUNDROMAT LOVE
It took a little while for me to unclog my voice
She was ready to leave so I had to make a choice
Would I remain a wordless wonder as I washed my duds
Or would I wipe away the wimp and rise above the suds?
I untied my tongue and tried to say something cool
When she didn't reply you know I felt like a fool
Then I asked could I help her pack her laundry outside
One thing led to another and she became my bride
Chorus 2:
LAUNDROMAT LOVE, LAUNDROMAT LOVE
Came to light underneath the fluorescents above
From our king-sized sheets to her daintiest glove
We're now sharin' our loads because of LAUNDROMAT LOVE
