Enter Today.

Lyricists! Here’s your chance to shine! Enter The Dallas Songwriters Quarterly Lyric Contest Entry fee is $10 per lyric.

Quarterly Entry Deadlines: Winter - March 31 * Spring - June 30 * Summer - September 30 * Fall - December 31


PRIZES TO BE AWARDED

Of course the MAIN prize is what we ALL aspire to:

RECOGNITION FOR OUR LYRICAL WORK!

ALSO: The 1st place winning lyricist receives:

A certificate, $50 cash and a 1 year DSA membership.

The 1st, 2nd, 3rd place winner's lyrics and judges critiques will be published in the DSA “Songwriters Notes” and on the DSA Website.

Showing posts with label lyric contest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lyric contest. Show all posts

Monday, September 3, 2012

2012 Spring Lyric Contest Winners


1st Place
     He Was The Whole World to Me by Dana Young, Anthony, KS

VI: I used to sit with grandpa in his old porchswing
And listen to the cricket's serenade
He'd whittle on a stick, wearing old overalls
As we sipped on our sweet lemonade

VII: I remember watching the evening sun
Melt into the distant oak trees
Then God would snap on His heavenly lights
And send us a cool autumn breeze

CH: He was just a dirt farmer with a plow and a cow
But his heart was as big as the sea
He didn't mean much to the rest of the world
But he was the whole world to me

VIII: He told me stories of his childhood past
And I listened with a reverent air
The next morning I'd wake up tucked in my bed
Never remembering just how I got there.

CH: He was just a dirt farmer with a plow and a cow
But his heart was as big as the sea
He didn't mean much to the rest of the world
But he was the whole world to me

BR:         We have to let go of the ones we love
For from this world they must part
But when they leave us with sweet memories
They will always live on in our heart.

CH: He was just a dirt farmer with a plow and a cow
But his heart was as big as the sea
He didn't mean much to the rest of the world
But he was the whole world to me.



2nd Place 
    Corner Bar by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
        
                                                                                                            
                 V-1  A YOUNG MAN ON HIS WAY FROM WORK, STOPS AND PARKS HIS CAR
                                                                                                       
                         HE’S LOOKING FOR SOME ACTION, AND GOES IN THE CORNER BAR
                                                                                                                
                         NONE OF HIS FRIENDS ARE THERE, JUST AN OLD MAN SITTING ALONE
                                                                                                                       
                         BUT HE REALLY WANTS A BEER, AND IT’S TOO EARLY TO GO HOME


                V-2  HE SAYS HEY POP HOW Y’A DOING, AND THE OLD MAN TIPS HIS HAT

                        WOULD Y’A LIKE A DRINK OLD TIMER, AND HE SAYS I’D LIKE THAT

                        SO THEY SAT DOWN TOGETHER, AND TALKED FOR A WHILE

                       THEY HAD A LOT IN COMMON, AND MADE EACH OTHER SMILE


               V-3  THE YOUNG MAN ASKED, HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS CORNER BAR

                        THE OLD MAN JUST SMILED, SAID I DON’T LIVE FAR

                        MY KID’S MOVED AWAY, AND MY EYES TOO BAD TO DRIVE  

                       I’VE GOT NOWHERE TO GO, AND FEW FRIENDS ALIVE

                                                                                                                        
   CHORUS:  SO I COME TO THIS CORNER BAR, AND ON A STOOL I SIT
                                                                                                                       
                        AND DRINK AWAY MY LIFE, WHATEVER’S LEFT OF IT
                                                                                                    
                        PEOPLE PITY ME, AND THEY SAY WHAT A SHAME
                                                                                                               
                        BUT I LIKE IT HERE, EVERYBODY KNOWS MY NAME 


               V-4  THE YOUNG MAN ASKS,  HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE OLD

                       AND THE OLD MAN ASSURES HIM, NOT AS BAD AS YOU’RE TOLD

                       I RELIVE MY YOUTH AT NIGHT, WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES

                       I’M A YOUNG MAN AGAIN, AND MY SPIRIT REVIVES


              V-5  BUT I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, TO FIND IT’S JUST A DREAM

                      MY BONES ARE STILL ACHING, AND LIFE’S WHAT IT SEEMS

                      NOW EVERY DAY’S A JOURNEY, THAT I DON’T WANT TO END

                      I HOPE YOU’LL STOP BY AGAIN, TO SEE ME MY FRIEND
                      
REPEAT CHORUS: 

Saturday, June 2, 2012

2012 Winter Lyric Contest Winners


We had entries from the US, UK, Australia & Canada.

SEMIFINALISTS
Saints & Sinners by John Walsh, Sydney Australia
You've Caught a Keeper by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx
Will Two Rights Make A Wrong? by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx
An App For You by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx
Acre of You by Michael Junek, Cameron, Tx
Ariel - No Guns & Such by Michael Junek, Cameron, Tx

WINNERS

I will critique as I type.  Parenthesis means remove the word.

FIRST PLACE

WILL TWO RIGHTS MAKE A WRONG?
   by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

This is a clever song and I couldn't find much to change which is why it took First Place 

VERSE 1
Well, I was raised up to believe
Two wrongs won't make a right
So is it wrong for us to meet
And hold each other tight tonight
Your man used (you) and abused you
Now that sure as hell was wrong
My wife cheated on me many times
While stringing me along

PRE CHORUS
Here we are in a hotel room
Starved for love but also scared
That tomorrow we'll feel guilty
About the lovin' that we shared

CHORUS  A little too long since your verses are long
Will two rights make a wrong?
That's the question on our minds
I'm right for you, you're right for me
And we've left two wrongs behind
(We've earned the right to be here
Right here's (right) where we belong)
Will we start something right tonight..or
Will two rights make a wrong?

VERSE 2
Let me make a sweet suggestion
Since we're singing the same song
Let's place our bets against regrets
We've been hurtin' way too long
I ache to touch and hold you
(The)My lovin' feelin' is so strong
I say let's kiss and take the risk
Two rights won't make a wrong

REPEAT PRE CHORUS AND CHORUS

TAG
Yeah, let's find out without a doubt
Will two rights make a wrong?

Judge #2 - Catchy lyrics. Really liked the chorus. 

SECOND PLACE
This is also a cute song that didn't need changing.

AN APP FOR YOU
  by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

VERSE 1
I watch you swivel by
And it's love at first look
Gonna try to meet you
By hook or by crook

VERSE 2
 (Popping) Flipping open the cover
Of my mobile device
Hoping it will help me
By offering advice

RAMP
Looking hard for an app 
That will give me a clue
On how to catch your eye
I need an APP FOR YOU

CHORUS
Got apps for sports and movies
Music,games and book reviews
Apps for figuring my taxes
Weather reports, daily news
Apps for almost anything
I can think of, yes, it's true
But to download your sweet love
Gotta find an APP FOR YOU

VERSE 3
An app just for you, babe
Social networks won't do
I'm begging my touch screen
To show an APP FOR YOU


REPEAT CHORUS

Judge #2  - Great idea for a song, but I would change a couple of lines in the first verse, "I watch you walk by, and its love at first sight, gonna try to meet you, I hope its tonight", 2nd verse, first line, I would say "I flip open my mobile device". The rest of the song works pretty well.


THIRD PLACE
I usually don't critique the third place winner but it's a fun song and I had some suggestions.

YOU'VE CAUGHT A KEEPER
  by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

VERSE 1
First you play me like a fish
And you've really got the knack
Every time you catch me
You find something that I lack
Don't know why you (try to) treat me
Like the one that got away
(I'd like it better if you angled
For a way to make me stay)
Why don't you just throw out a line
As a way to make me stay

VERSE 2
Been hoping that you'll keep me
Finish reelin' in my heart
I took the bait you offered
You've played me from the start
Am I just (too small) not right for keepin'
(Or too much for you to pack)
I need to know the facts
Why (do) you keep on fishin'
If you're (just) gonna throw me back

RAMP  Leave this out.  Your verses are long and it would be better if you could shorten them to 6 lines.

CHORUS  Needs to be shorter with the "hook" up front
I've got a better idea
Take me home tonight
Get hooked on each other
Give up without a fight
Take our own sweet time
To set our hooks in deeper
Let me ease your mind
YOU'VE CAUGHT A KEEPER

MY CHORUS
Yeah, You've caught a keeper
Why can't you see
In no time at all
You'll be hooked on me
Cause I'm a keeper
Yeah, You caught a keeper

Leave Verse 3 out

VERSE 4 (3 now)
If you try me, you might like me
I'm not fishy like you think
But I'm tired of getting caught
And (then) thrown back in the drink
(I'll even let you take my photo
Pin it up with a thumbtack
To remind you of the big one
That you didn't throw back)
I think you might be sorry
If you throw me back someday
Cause I'll just take off swimming
You let the best one get away

REPEAT CHORUS

Judge #2 - Hook is great. Lost me on the ramp & verse 3 & 4. I would not make reference to the lake or swimming, instead I would make reference as to what a great catch you are and she'd be a fool to  let you go - catch and release angle. I would also do some re-phrasing in verse 4 & 5. But overall good start on some "catchy" lyrics

HONORABLE MENTION

SAINTS and SINNERS 
                  by John Walsh, Sydney Australia 

I really liked the first verse and chorus. I would rewrite the other verses leaving references to religion out.  



HONORABLE MENTION




ACRE OF YOU 
by Michael Junek, Cameron, Tx


The lyrics of this song caught my attention, simple but had impact.

Ariel - No Guns & Such by Michael Junek, Cameron, Tx
Really like this song. Very poetic. Form is good.

Friday, February 3, 2012

WINNERS OF THE 2011 FALL LYRIC CONTEST


Semifinalists
We'll Go Away As Friends by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Shadows on the Wall by George Puccini, Las Vegas, NV
Body Surfing by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx
In A Heartbeat by Dana Young, Anthony, KS
All of You by Jenifer Christmas, Arverne, NY
Don't Play That Song by Dana Young, Anthony, KS
My Momma, (She Really Loved To Dance) by Fremont Ashton, Englewood, FL
I was Only Trying to Help Her Make Up My Mind by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
The Homecoming Dance by Lisa Simmons, Lewisville, Tx
Jesus Rides this Freight Train With Me by Tony McCall, Brisbane, Australia

Fade by Ryan Eichenwaid, Dallas, Tx 



WINNERS
There were a lot of good lyric entries this quarter and it was hard to choose. I will critique as I type and use a parenthesis to remove a word or phrase or add a word. Sometimes I add  or remove a word to make meters match.

1ST PLACE

WE'LL GO AWAY AS FRIENDS by Bill Kapac
This is a well crafted song with a lot of emotion.  There are a lot of "break-up" songs but this one had an upbeat twist.

VERSE 1
Love doesn't disappear, it (just) slowly fades away
The feelings will go, but the memories all stay
Our life as one is over, in the morning I'll be gone
We're going our separate ways, we're both moving on (we'll both be moving on)

VERSE 2
We could try again tomorrow, but tomorrows never come
They just become today and that's what we're running from
I lie staring at the ceiling, next to your bed
With the sound of the past ringing (over) in my head

CHORUS
Hold me through the night I ask, stay until it ends
Kiss me in the morning and we'll go away as friends
Life can be so crazy, we could fall in love again
Walk me to the door and we'll go away as friends

VERSE 3
I turn and try to talk as the strength drains from my voice
There's no turning back now, we've already made that choice
I'm thinking to myself, should we give it one more try
But I won't say a word, (I don't want her to see me cry)  can't let her see me cry

REPEAT CHORUS


2ND PLACE

SHADOWS ON THE WALL by George Puccini
These lyrics are original and paint a good visual picture.  They also show emotion.

VERSE 1
An old photograph, a song from the past
Her laugh that lingers like a haunting (tune) melody
The scent of her hair surrounding me here
Like the shadows on the wall I see

VERSE 2
I look and she's there, asleep in my chair
I call her name and reach to touch her cheek
Then my cigarette flames and eerily frames
The shadows on the wall (around me) that can't speak

BRIDGE
I know the shadows taunt me as they haunt me
Now that she's gone
They bring her face before me just to warm me
Then they flicker and move on

VERSE 3
As my cigarette dies, alone in the night
I'll watch the silhouettes dance on the wall
Just old memories of what (life) used to be
Shadows on the wall and me

REPEAT BRIDGE
As my cigarette dies, alone  in the night
I'll watch the silhouettes dance on the wall
Just old memories of what (life) used to be
Shadows on the wall
Shadows on the wall
Shadows on the wall and me

3RD PLACE

BODY SURFING by Larry Dodge
This is a very original and well crafted song. It might be a little too sexy to be commercial but it is certainly well written and a fun song. Catchy tune something Brad Paisley would do - a few words could be changed, but structure seems good and somewhat original.
Verse 1:
I love the ocean and my baby does too
Beaches and breakers and water so blue
Barbecues and blankets on our favorite turf
But the highest high is when we body surf

Ramp:
There's really nothing like it when we catch a wave
We ride it 'til it breaks , but pretty quickly we crave
Another wave, even bigger, they'll challenge our skill
Until we crash, exhausted, and fall asleep lying still

Chorus:
No board needed, it just gets in the way
Of total immersion  in the foam and spray
Ride the rhythm of the ocean 'til the dance is through
Oh Baby, I love BODY SURFING with you

Verse 2:
Now Baby and I we live far from the shore
And we rarely have time to make the trip anymore
But we don't need breakers, except in our head
We get the same kind of thrills here at home instead

[Repeat ramp and chorus]

Tag:
No,  there's really nothing  better when the day is through
Oh Baby, I love BODY SURFING with you!

HONORABLE MENTION
This was a hard decision as there were many lyrics that deserved to be honored.  After re-reading many songs several times, I finally decided on

IN A HEARTBEAT by Dana Young, Anthony, KS
These were catchy lyrics with an upbeat message. I would suggest that you shorten the verses to 6 lines instead of 8.  Also  the bridge should be changed to read:
Faster than a jet plane
In the blink of an eye
I fell for you
Now honey, that's no lie

VERSE
When I first met you 
Didn't know much about love 
Just having a good time 
Was all that I could think of 
Then I met you baby 
And I fell hard and fast 
Would I do it all again girl 
You don't even have to ask. 

CHORUS
In a heartbeat 
In a split second 
Like a flashoof lightening 
Honey there's no question 
In a heartbeat. 

VERSE
After we were married 
And I was gonna be a dad 
Didn't know if I was ready 
I admit I was scared 
But the first time that I saw her 
Such tiny hands and feet 
I fell in love again 
In a heartbeat. 

CHORUS
In a heartbeat 
In a split second 
Like a flashoof lightening 
Honey there's no question 
In a heartbeat. 

BRIDGE
Faster than a jet plane 
In the blink of an eye 
Like the flutter of a bird's wing 
Now honey that's no lie. 

CHORUS
In a heartbeat 
In a split second 
Like a flash of lightening 
Honey there's no question 
In a heartbeat 

I'd do it in a heartbeat. 

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

SUMMER 2009 WINNERS

A HUGE THANKS to Nancy Rynders, who has been our Lyric Contest Director for the past few years.

FIRST PLACE

The song structure was good but I felt the content of the song was bland and generic.
Since there are thousands of love songs written, a song really needs to have a 'fresh approach" to become commercial. I'll critique as I write
.

YOU WOULD LOVE ME SO RIGHT by Andre Kerek Here is a link to the complete song with melody posted on Broadjam.com Once your on the page you'll need to click on the song title. http://www.broadjam.com/artists/songs.php?artistID=30620#

VERSE 1
You know my mood when we touch
And read my mind way too much
I can't see how it would be
If you weren't here to live with me

CHORUS
Who would I find who is sincere
Someone who would always be here
Keeping me warm into the night
Who would love me so right
You would love me so right

VERSE 2
When times get tough and seem the worst
And I need help, you're there first
You make me lie down next to you (You're next to me when things go wrong)
And bring me up with all that you do (Cause your love for me is so strong)

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 3 (I would leave this verse out because it says nothing new)
When I'm in pain, you have the cure
And know how much I can endure
You lead me to the right path
So I won't catch somebody's wrath

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 4
Looking back thru all the years
We had good times and some tears
This may not sound like a big deal (Just want you to know how I feel)
Just wanted you to know how I feel (Cause to me it is a big deal)

REPEAT CHORUS


SECOND PLACE

CINDERELLA NOT AT ALL by Paul Zander

(I chose this song because of it's catchy title. It could be a good song if written with more conversational lines and less vagueness)

CINDERELLA NOT AT ALL

VERSE 1
She's got some magic and she's more than able
To mesmerize and break your certain gaze
He thinks of love in rhyme and storied fables
From his collective and unconscious days

MY VERSION
She was his Cinderella on their wedding day
But marriage is not a fairy tale
His expectations of her were too high
When he lifted her bridal veil


CHORUS (I would switch the 3 line chorus, putting the "She's a woman" chorus at the top)
(Put this at bottom)
She's not some pretty maiden
No Galatea waiting
She was born to rise and fall (find a better line)

(Put at top)
She's a woman
She's just a woman
Cinderella not at all

VERSE 2
Between the battles and that sweet devotion
Sometimes love feels just like a twice-told tale
Can she survive these Grimm and fabled notions
Can she remain the Princess underneath that bridal veil

MY VERSION
Sometimes the glass slipper doesn't fit
And the magic spell is broken
Between her and her Prince Charming
When hurtful words are spoken


REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE? (A bridge is usually not 7 lines long. Why not have a 2 line bridge and a 4th verse)
She wants to be his muse
But she don't know what to do
And she has her own tale to be told
Then something quite alarming
He used to be Prince Charming
Now that spell is broken
Cast down by words unspoken
(I'm sorry, but this bridge made no sense to me whatsoever. What's her problem and what did he do?
I thought this song was about his high expectations of her and she couldn't live up to them. Be specific!)


REPEAT CHORUS

HONORABLE MENTION

EVERYTHING AND YOUby Andre Kerek
This is a well written song but so sad. There was another song written on the same subject a few years ago. I just remember in the chorus it said I'll go sky diving.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Spring 2008 Lyric Contest Winners

1. Waitress In An All Night Diner by Michael Hollingsworth, LA, CA
2. Gas Food & Lovin' Next Right by Kathy Dunn, Grand Prairie, TX
3. Of Wives & Men by Akin Akintola, Owings Mills, MD
HM It's So Good To Have You Home by Mike Parrish, La Grange, GA

First Place

WAITRESS IN AN ALL NIGHT DINNER by Michael Hollingsworth

(I'll critique as I type the song. This song has a lot of good
images but I think it would be better if written in 3rd person instead of 1st.
Some singers might not want to be identified as a waitress)


VERSE 1

I's four o'clock in the morning
Time to lipstick my (her) smile
Get the coffee up and perking
I (she) hopes this rain stops in a while
Soon the bacon will be frying
As the trucks come roarin' in
I'll (she'll) tell the boys a joke or two
Just to get them to grin

CHORUS

'Cause I'm (she's) the waitress
In the all night diner
Making tips from the truckers and the miners
I'd (she'd) like to somehow change my (her) life
Be someone's mother, someone's wife
But until the day I (she) do (does)
What can I (she) get for you

VERSE 2

The sun breaks through the rain drops
As the boys start filin' in
Wanting biscuits and gravy
Served by the gal they call a friend
I (she) knows the names of their children
Sweethearts and their wives
They send me (her) cards on my (her) Birthday
Like I'm (she's) part of their lives


REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 3 (I would make this a bridge because the meters don't match the first
2 verses and you could change it musically)


Oh, my(her) feet ache
And there's the heartbreak
From some old love affair
That showed me (her) love ain't so true (that don't end happily or happier)I
like this line better
Oh, the night's so cold and I (she) feels old
Cause no one's holding me(her)
(I would leave out the next two lines)
There's more to life than working
I'm (she's) a woman who needs holding too

REPEAT CHORUS

2nd Place Winner

GAS, FOOD AND LOVIN' - NEXT RIGHT by Kathy Dunn, Grand Prairie, Tx

I will critique as I type. First of all, I would change the title to Good
Food, Good Lovin' - Next Right. The word GAS isn't relevant to the
story...He's in a hurry to get home and doesn't stop for gas. Also the lines
containing the title should be changed to the new title.


VERSE 1

The sun went (sun's gone) down and I'm roaring down the highway
(So please) Get outta my way (meters need to match all verses)
It's been three long weeks since I last saw my baby
(Yeah,) I can hardly wait
But a few more miles of Texas blacktop
I'll be holding her tight
Gas, Food and Lovin' waitin' for me, honey
Next right

VERSE 2

I'm a travelin' man I love life on the road
But love my baby, too
Without a good woman, the nights sure get cold
Leavin' is hard to do
But just a few more miles of Texas blacktop
I'll be holding her tight
Gas, Food and Lovin' waitin' for me, honey
Next right

BRIDGE

Runnin' on empty
Gettin' by on fumes
No stoppin' me now]
Gonna be there soon

VERSE 3

A big juicy steak with a kiss on the side
(That's what's) waiting for me
A cold glass of beer and a tight pair of jeans
How lucky can I be?
Just a few more miles of East Texas blacktop
I'll be holding her tight
Gas, Food and Lovin' waitin' for me, Honey
Next right

This is a cute country song that could be commercial. Good job!

3rd Place Winner

OF WIVES AND MEN by Akin Akintola, Owings Mills, MD

Lots of songs have been written with this theme but you did craft a good
song.


VERSE 1

Laughter was our best medicine
Through sickness and in health
Now she's just sick of me
She's laughing with someone else

VERSE 2

We came a long way (together)
But now she's gone too far
Am I the last man on earth (she wanted instead of on earth)
Or just the last drunk at the bar

CHORUS

Here's to the best laid plans of wives and men
Of wives and men and of(leave"of" out here) lovers and friends
You love and you learn and life says when
(the best laid plans just fall apart
And cause the breaking of lover's hearts) These 2 lines are better
Here's to the best laid plans of wives and men
Of wives and men and lovers and friends
Of wives and men and lovers and friends (Leave this line out)
Sometimes the best place to start over is at the very end (shorten this line)

VERSE 3 (I would leave this verse out altogether. How many men named Billy
Ray are there!) And the meters don't match.


Someone happened
Somewhere along the way
His first name was Billy
His last name was Ray

VERSE 4

Guess all our fights kept adding up
I was never good at math
But how did my best friend
Fall in love with my better half

REPEAT CHORUS

TAG

The future's not what it used to be
The future's not what it used to be (instead say We never know what's in
store)
One thing is for sure
The future's not what it used to be...anymore

REPEAT CHORUS

HONORABLE MENTION

IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU HOME by Mike Parrish, La Grange, GA

This is a poignant song with a good message. It's a little wordy and I would
try shortening some of the lines without losing the story
.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

LYRIC CONTEST RULES

DSA LYRIC CONTEST

Lyricists! Here’s your chance to shine!
Enter The Dallas Songwriters
Quarterly Lyric Contest

Entry fee is $10 per lyric.

Quarterly Entry Deadlines:
Winter - 2nd Tuesday in March
Spring - 2nd Tuesday in June
Summer - 2nd Tuesday in September
Fall - 2nd Tuesday in December


PRIZES TO BE AWARDED
Of course the MAIN prize is what we ALL aspire to:
RECOGNITION FOR OUR LYRICAL WORK!
ALSO: The 1st place winning lyricist receives $50 cash.

The 1st, 2nd, 3rd place winner's lyrics and judges critiques
will be published in the DSA “Songwriters Notes”
and on the DSA Website

Bring your entries to the meeting or mail to us:
Dallas Songwriters Lyric Contest % Sammons Center for the Arts
3630 Harry Hines Blvd. Box 20, Dallas, TX 75219