Enter Today.

Lyricists! Here’s your chance to shine! Enter The Dallas Songwriters Quarterly Lyric Contest Entry fee is $10 per lyric.

Quarterly Entry Deadlines: Winter - March 31 * Spring - June 30 * Summer - September 30 * Fall - December 31


PRIZES TO BE AWARDED

Of course the MAIN prize is what we ALL aspire to:

RECOGNITION FOR OUR LYRICAL WORK!

ALSO: The 1st place winning lyricist receives:

A certificate, $50 cash and a 1 year DSA membership.

The 1st, 2nd, 3rd place winner's lyrics and judges critiques will be published in the DSA “Songwriters Notes” and on the DSA Website.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Winners of the Spring 2013 Lyric Contest

SEMIFINALIST
She's All Texas by Tom Ruffen, Burnaby, BC, Canada 
Cowboys And Redskins Are In Town by Mary Hughes, Springtown, TX 
Three Hearts And One Diamond by Dana Young, Anthony, KS
Flower Mound by John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO 
Silver Cadillac by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Two O'Clock In The Morning by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Force of Nature by John Walsh, Sydney, NSW, Australia 
Morning Star by John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO
Weep For The Innocent by Dana Young, Anthony, KS

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

Judge 1: This is a cleverly written song with lots of imagery
Judge 3:  I like the descriptions of an imaginary rip-roaringTexas woman.  Lots of word pictures and stereotypes about Texas and maybe a little overdone but entertaining.  Song is somewhat long but rhyme scheme and phrasing are good and overall appeal is good.


SHE'S ALL TEXAS

VERSE 1
In the lone star state I've found a girl
Sweetest thing there is in this here world
Bluebonnet eyes, sunflower hair
Curves like the Pedernales and twice as fair
Alone the Pecos or the Rio Grande
You got to know that I'm a happy man
From the panhandle to the piney woods
You can bet your saddle, my life is good

CHORUS

Oh she's all Texas, that lovely gal of mine
Houston, there's no problem, she loves me all the time

VERSE 2
She'll say "Howdy" and invite you in
Deep in her heart is where the west begins
She can set a table and rustle up grub
Every single thing she makes is made with love
Chicken fried steak with sausage gravy
Her crumblin' cornbread'll drive you crazy
Homegrown Texas, you know what I mean
She's got eighteen ways to fix a pinto bean

BRIDGE
Oh, she'll knock my boots when the mood is right
Thank my lucky stars she's with me every night
I got lassoed in El Paso and hitched in Sugar Land
Honeymooned in Dallas where we (blindfolded) danced to the band.  I didn't understand this line

REPEAT CHORUS

I would leave the next verse out because the song is too long
VERSE 3
Her daddy left her a rifle and Bowie knife
Colt forty-five and his way of life
She's planted cotton and drilled for oil
Earned an honest living from her daily toil
Seen dust devils and months without rain
Flashin' floods and Gulf hurricanes
In tornado alley, she hunkers down
Then helps her neighbors for miles around

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE4
She can shoe a horse, fix a pickup truck
Catch a catfish, dress a white tail buck
Wears a ten-gallon hat, raises Longhorn cattle
She hears fightin' words, there's gonna be a battle
"Cause she never forgets the old Alamoo
It's in her blood and she won't let it go
Don't mess with Texas, not my Botton Bowl Queen
Or her spurs'll kick your can down to Abilene

REPEAT CHORUS

SECOND PLACE

Judge 3: I like the feel and word pictures about a fine car and the allusions to a woman.  The rhyme scheme was good but the chorus should appear earlier in the song, after the second verse.  The rhyming of "automobile" and "feel" in the chorus is good but the cadence gets off with too many syllables in "like no other automobile" which could be changed to "a fine automobile".  Originality was good even though the song seems somewhat akin to "Pink Cadillac"  Overall it has good appeal and is a fun song.
Judge 2: Comments below.

 "SILVER CADILLAC" 

V-1 SHES A SILVER CADILLAC, THE STAR OF MY DREAMS 
A SLEEK CRUISE MISSLE, MY FLYING MACHINE 
SHE'S HELL ON WHEELS, THE FASTEST EVER SEEN 
AND BURNS UP THE ROAD, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 

V-2 SHES POETRY IN MOTION, SOFT ON THE INSIDE 
HER BODY DRAPED IN CHROME, GIVES A HEA-VEN-LY RIDE 
SHE SITS IN MY DRIVEWAY, JUST WAITING FOR ME 
AND COMES ALIVE, WHEN I TURN ON HER KEY 
(I suggest something like: My baby comes alive when I turn her key
  or My baby starts to purring when I turn key key - these might sing easier)

(I would put a chorus at this point)

V-3 SITTING IN MY CADILLAC, WE GLUIDE THROUGH THE NIGHT 
SHE SMOOTHS EVERY BUMP, MAKES EVERYTHING RIGHT 
NOTHING EVER LOOKED SO GOOD, OR TOOK ME SO FAR 
AS THAT SILVER CADILLAC, MY BEAUTIFUL CAR 

V-4 THERES NOTHING ELSE LIKE HER, MAKE NO MISTAKE 
SHE'S A SILVER CADILLAC, THE BIGEST ONE THEY MAKE 
LIFE'S A LONG ROAD, THAT I COULDN'T DRIVE MYSELF 
WHEN I'M IN THAT CADDY, I DON'T NEED NOBODY ELSE 

CHORUS: SHES A SILVER CADILLAC, LIKE NO OTHER AUTOMOBILE 
IF YOU TOOK HER FOR A RIDE, YOU'D KNOW HOW I FEEL 
WHEN I TAKE HER OUT TONIGHT, THERE'S NO TURNING BACK 
I'LL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE, WITH MY SILVER CADILLAC 

( I would slightly reword V-5 and make it a bridge with a musical change)
V -5 I ALWAYS DESIRED THAT CAR, I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY 
I JUST HAD TO HAVE, HER, BEFORE THE DAY I DIE 
THERE'S NO FANCY LEXUS, OR BUICK THAT WILL DO 
IT HAS TO BE THAT CADILLAC, AND SHE'S GONNA BE YOU 

REPEAT CHORUS

THIRD PLACE  - Three way tie

Judge 1: Comments below

COWBOYS AND REDSKINS ARE IN TOWN
I've changed some wording but I like the title and story

VERSE 1
She said "come here, got something for you
(Do you) feel like snuggling (cause I sure want to)
I said "not now, it'll have to wait (not today)
Cowboys and Redskins are 'bout to play"

CHORUS
I can't believe I turned her down
But the Cowboys and Redskins are in town
It's two minutes 'till kick off time (remove this line)
Done popped a tab, kicked back in my chair
In two minutes they're on the air
Any other time but not night now
Cowboys and Redskins are in town

VERSE 2
Oh Lord, how lucky can one guy be
She cooks and cleans, gladly waits on me
(The washes my truck then rubs my back
Says she's happy living in this old shack)  No woman would do or say that!
If I ask, she'll rub my back
She puts me first, that's a fact

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE
I'd change this bridge from
Wonder if she planned the perfect time to get that game off my mind
I'd do anything in the world for her but today football's gonna come first
to
Lovins' always on my mind
But this is not the perfect time

REPEAT CHORUS

Judge 2: Comments below

"TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING" 

V-I IT'S TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING(I would not water down the hook by using it here
maybe something like: After another night of trying, I'M SITTING HERE ALL ALONE 
THE REST OF THE BAR IS EMPTY, EVERYONE ELSE HAS GONE HOME 
IT MAKES ME FEEL SO LONELY, TO BE HERE BY MYSELF 
I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, THERE MUST BE SOMEBODY ELSE 

V-2 I THOUGHT I MADE A FRIEND TONIGHT, SHE SEEMED SO NICE TO ME 
BUT SHE HAD TO GO AWAY, TO SOME PLACE SHE'D RATHER BE 
AND I SAW AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE, WE SAT AND TALKED FOR A WHILE 
BUT SHE COULDN'T STAY VERY LONG, SHE JUST LEFT ME WITH A SMILE 

CHORUS: IT'S TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, THERE'S A POUNDING INSIDE MY HEAD 
(might sing better as: It's two o'clock in the morning, there's a pounding in my head)
I DRANK TOO MUCH TONIGHT, IN THE MORNING I'LL FEEL LIKE I'M DEAD
(maybe: I drank too much tonight, in the morning I will regret)

I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME, AND TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS SORROW 
(I need some help with the sorrow, someone to help me forget)
THIS IS MY LAST TWO OCLOCK, I WONT BE BACK HERE TOMORROW
(maybe: It's two o'clock in the morning, There's a pounding in my head
this might help to reiterate the hook)

V-3 IT'S TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, ( again, let the hook stand in the chorus
maybe, I'm getting tired of living, IN THIS COLD, EMPTY TOWN 
THE PIMPS, DRUNKS AND COPS, ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE AROUND 
I SHOULD BE HOME BY NOW, BUT THERE'S NO ONE WAITING FOR ME 
I CAN'T WOK AT THOSE WALLS TONIGHT, AT LEAST OUT HERE I FEEL FREE 

V-4 I ONCE HAD A STEADY GIRLFRIEND, WE WENT EVERYWHERE TOGETHER
UNTIL SHE FOUND SOMEBODY  (someone might sing better)  ELSE, THAT I GUESS SHE THOUGHT WAS BETTER
THE COPS PULL ME OUT OF MY CAR, THEY KNOW ME AND GIVE ME A WARNING
I'M DRUNK AND ALONE AGAIN, IT'S TWO OCLOCK IN THE MORNING 

REPEAT CHORUS: 

Judge 3: I like the simplicity of the song and it's emotional impact about love and innocence lost but the need to keep trying to find it.  The beginning of the chorus could drop "We" and just start with "weep" so the title and hook would align.  The rhyme pattern was good though there was a bit of stretch in rhyming "horizon" and "trying" in the second verse.  Phrasing and cadence were good as well as originality and overall appeal.

WEEP FOR THE INNOCENT 

VI: I sit by the window and let my tears fall 
Wondering just how I'll get through it all 
I can't change the past, can't shake off the sorrow 
So I'll just pray for a better tomorrow. 

CH: We weep for the innocent and their years swept away 

May the moon and the sta~ light up their way 
We mourn for the world lost in dull shades of gray 
May the moon and the stars light up its way. 

VII: I fall to my knees and shake my fists at the sky 
But there are no answers when I ask Him why 
I see faces of angels above the horizon 
So with each breaking dawn, I must keep on trying. 

CH: We weep for the innocent and their years swept away 
May the moon and the stars light up their way 
We mourn for the world lost in dull shades of gray 
May the moon and the stars light up its way. 

BR: The wind has no force if its path is clear 
A lion's roar has no strength, if there's no one to hear 
Love has no meaning if it doesn't last 
Why hope for the future if its lost in the past. 

CH: We weep for the innocent and their years swept away 
May the moon and the stars light up their way 
We mourn for the world lost in dull shades of gray 
May the moon and the stars light up its way. 

Honorable Mention  - Two way tie

Judge 2: Comments below.

Force of Nature 

She’s two kinds of trouble
A double threat - country bred, city cred (might find a better rhyme)
Born and raised on sunshine and Jesus
A hometown girl, with a downtown life
Moonshine shots and Bacardi breezers
She’s all woman but she’s no man’s wife

She’s a force of nature
She’s a force of nature
A category 5, certified widow maker
It was an act of God that made her
She can bend but you won’t break her
That girl’s a force of nature

She’ll lay you bare like a Texas twister
Beware ( of ) that southern sister
She’ll light you up like a flash grenade
One night together you’ll never forget her
You’ll think your soul’s been saved
One more guy she’ll never remember

She’s a force of nature
She’s a force of nature
A category 5, certified widow maker
It was an act of God that made her
She can bend but you won’t break her
That girl’s a force of nature

Bridge
Maybe the force be with me
I’m giving it a shot
If I crash and burn
At least I’ll know
I gave it all I got

She’s a force of nature
She’s a force of nature
A category 5, certified widow maker
It was an act of God that made her
She can bend but you won’t break her
That girl’s a force of nature

It was an act of God that made her
She can bend but you won’t break her
That girl’s a force of nature

  THREE HEARTS-AND ONE DIAMOND 

VI: My heart was racing, I was gonna propose 
In my pocket I carried a ring 
But in that dimly lit room, I saw you with him 
Then I knew this king lost his queen. 

CH: Three hearts and one diamond, I was dealt a bad hand 
And I had no cards I could play 
Two kings and one queen, I knew I had lost 
So I turned and just walked away. 

VII: Deep down I knew you'd been thinking of him 
l1e was always the love of your life 
And when you leaned over, and the two of you kissed 
It cut through my heart like a knife. 

CH: Three hearts and one diamond, I was dealt a bad hand 
And I had no cards I could play 
Two kings and one queen, I knew I had lost 
So I turned and just walked away 

VIII: I should have noticed the signs, should've known you were cheating 
You had an ace up your sleeve 
I was playing with a deck of fifty-one cards 
Guess you could call me naive. 

CH: Three hearts and one diamond, I was dealt a bad hand 
And I had no cards I could play 
Two kings and one queen, I knew I had lost 
So I turned and just walked away. 

BR: But then I turned back around and walked over to you 
I placed that ring in your palm 
I folded your hand, tipped my hat at your friend 
And sa!d, "mister it looks like you won." 

CH: Three hearts and one diamond, rwas dealt a bad hand 
And I had no cards I could play 
Two kings and one queen, I knew I had lost 
So I turned and just walked away. 

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