SemiFinalists
1. The Only Heart You Had Was Mine by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
2. It's Only Country When It's Real by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
2. Gimme a Big City by John Thomas Lane, Monument, Co
3. What Woman Can Make You Do by Ross Smith, Lewisville, Tx
HM Your Flight Has Just Been Cancelled by Lenny Soloman, Cambridge, MAS
HM. I'd Marry You Again (The Anniversary Song) by Bill Hoover, Hendersonville, NV
HM The Fracking Song by Lenny Soloman, Cambridge, MAS
The End of A Dream by Roy Williams, Woodbridge, ONT, CAN
Back To Work by Landon Ray Lewis, Waco, Tx
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WINNERS
FIRST PLACE
1. The Only Heart You Had Was Mine
The theme of this song isn't new but it was written in such a clever way. I added some words (in parenthesis) to match the line meters.
THE ONLY HEART YOU HAD WAS MINE by © Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
CHORUS
The only heart you had was mine
How was I to know
That all the love you gave to me
Was just part of your show
I believed every word you said
You fooled me all that time
It hurt me to find out
The only heart you had was mine
VERSE 1
You looked too good to be true
(It) turns out I was right
You were wearing a disguise
When I (first) saw you that night
(I thought) everything was perfect
(But you're) my worst mistake
I couldn't tell by looking
That everything was fake
VERSE 2
I thought my eyes betrayed me
An angel here on earth
I had to try my luck
And see what she was worth
(I knew) something wasn't right
But I couldn't find the clue
And I wouldn't find a heart
If I could see through you
REPEAT CHORUS
VERSE 3
Your magic melted quickly
Like ice cream in the sun
I was looking for a heart
In a place there was none
Your beauty was impossible
And could tear (any) man apart
You had everything you needed
All except a heart
REPEAT CHORUS
SECOND PLACE
It's a good country song but it's too long. I'd leave out verse 2 and 3. I've changed some wording (in parenthesis) to make the meters match.
IT'S ONLY COUNTRY WHEN IT'S REAL © by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
CHORUS
It's only country when it's real
Not what you wear but how you feel
You don't need no boots or hat
Real don't have to look like that
VERSE 1
This music's yours as well as mine
No one's voice is left behind
(When) It's (comes) from the heart and makes you feel
You'll know it's country when it's real
VERSE 2 leave this verse out
If it's rocking and knockin' and carries a beat
You'll know it's real when you move your feet
You might hear some fiddle and a little guitar
When it's played in Church or some honky tonk bar
REPEAT CHORUS
VERSE 3 leave this verse out
It don't matter where you're from
Just clap your hands or beat that drum
And if you got no rhythm just sing along
Or stomp your feet, you can't go wrong
VERSE 4
You don't need a gun or pick-up truck
No worn out story about bad luck
Country music's still around
Cause everybody loves that sound
VERSE 5
Country music's recipe
It's (is a song) about life an' you and me
You can serve it soft or play it loud
When it's real country, just sing it proud
REPEAT CHORUS
Gimme a Big City
Songs about city life intrigue me a topic, because it's usually the rustic country life thatgets romanticized in songs. I'm glad to see someone take the other side (and not just because I'm a city person myself). Good use of unique language ("shadows of steel," "twing of sadness") that make this particular song poetic in its own way. There are two examples I would warn against, though, if it were me writing this song. In the chorus and verse #2, the A and B rhymes, while different, are very similar, and that's very tough to pull off. Glow/gold and grow/go are just very similar songs that aren't all quite the same, which leads me to believe it wasn't intentional. Same thing in the chorus: Feed/me and concrete/meet share the same vowel sounds but according to the scheme are different rhymes. There are a lot of different other sounds you might think about using to differentiate these rhyme sounds. But excellent work nonetheless. There are some great, specific images of city life here that work very well.
GIMME A BIG CITY by © John Thomas Lane, Monument, Co
I wanna be a face in the crowd
Walking with people talking out loud
Feeling the thunder beneath my feet
I don’t want quiet, I don’t need peace
Shadows of steel painted in neon glow
Running like rivers thru streets of gold
Running like rivers thru streets of gold
My heart is racing, hunger starting to grow
This big city appetite just won’t let go
This big city appetite just won’t let go
So gimme a big city habit to feed
Everything I want is waiting for me
Strolling 5th Avenue concrete
Rubbing elbows with people I’ll never meet
Show me a playground as big as the ocean
Don’t step back, it’s all forward motion
A sea of people going the same way
Riding on top of a big city wave
Hook-me-up with a city
Moving to a hip hop beat
A city that knows how to
Bounce to reggae heat
A city rocking to country and Springsteen
Grooving to sweet smooth jazz suites
So gimme a big city habit to feed
Everything I want is waiting for me
Everything I want is waiting for me
Strolling 5th Avenue concrete
Rubbing elbows with people I’ll never meet
Show me a playground as big as the ocean
Don’t step back, it’s all forward motion
A sea of people going the same way
Riding on top of a big city wave
Brother can you spare some change
Might sound a little strange
In the big city that’s just the welcoming committee
Lonely people shouting I’m walking here, I’m walking here
A hint of madness, a twinge of sadness
Just part of the circus atmosphere there’s nothing to fear
So gimme a big city habit to feed
Everything I want is waiting for me
Everything I want is waiting for me
Strolling 5th Avenue concrete
Rubbing elbows with people I’ll never meet
Show me a playground as big as the ocean
Don’t step back, it’s all forward motion
A sea of people going the same way
Riding on top of a big city wave
THIRD PLACE
WHAT A WOMAN CAN MAKE YOU DO by © Ross Smith, Lewisville, Tx
The idea in this song is good but it needs some work. The lines in each verse are too long and could be shortened to give them more punch. Also, I'd leave out "Never thought I'd give in" and skip to "Guess I never knew what a woman can make you do". I'd also make the last verse a "tag" and shorten it to 2 lines and then back to the chorus.
HONORABLE MENTION
YOUR FLIGHT HAS JUST BEEN CANCELED by © Lenny Soloman, Cambridge, MAS
This was a fun song that many people, including me, can connect with today. It's probably not a mainstream commercial song but put it up on utube and see how many hits you get.
HM I'd Marry You Again (The Anniversary Song) by © Bill Hoover, Hendersonville, NV
It's difficult to write a love song that's in any way original. What this writer does well is take a common subject and express it in an interesting ways. There are
interesting rhymes all over the place (lottery/away from me/poverty), although I'd challenge the writer to come up with something other than world/girl, because
that's very overused as a rhyme. The song manages to be heartfelt without being sappy, primarily because it doesn't take itself too seriously (see verse #4). Good work. It's
hard to get me to actually like a love song!
HM The Fracking Song by © Lenny Soloman, Cambridge, MAS
I admit, I'm a sucker for topical songs. There are so many trite topics about which to write songs that finding something like this is really good for songwriting in general.
If I were editing the song in the future, though, one thing I would look at it is rhyme scheme and whether AABB throughout is how you really want to go. There are a lot of other interesting rhyme schemes from which to choose! However, I do understood the impetus to keep topical songs like this as simple as possible. Topical songs can be difficult to pull off for a number of reasons, first among which is difficult of avoiding being preachy, and I think the writer does that well. The writer has a point he or she wants to make, but doesn't take that viewpoint so seriously and ardently that it remains inaccessible for the listener.
