2012 Winter Lyric Contest Winners

We had entries from the US, UK, Australia & Canada.

SEMIFINALISTS

Saints & Sinners by John Walsh, Sydney Australia

You've Caught a Keeper by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

Will Two Rights Make A Wrong? by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

An App For You by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

Acre of You by Michael Junek, Cameron, Tx

Ariel - No Guns & Such by Michael Junek, Cameron, Tx

WINNERS

I will critique as I type.  Parenthesis means remove the word.

FIRST PLACE

WILL TWO RIGHTS MAKE A WRONG?

   by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

This is a clever song and I couldn't find much to change which is why it took First Place 

VERSE 1

Well, I was raised up to believe

Two wrongs won't make a right

So is it wrong for us to meet

And hold each other tight tonight

Your man used (you) and abused you

Now that sure as hell was wrong

My wife cheated on me many times

While stringing me along

PRE CHORUS

Here we are in a hotel room

Starved for love but also scared

That tomorrow we'll feel guilty

About the lovin' that we shared

CHORUS  A little too long since your verses are long

Will two rights make a wrong?

That's the question on our minds

I'm right for you, you're right for me

And we've left two wrongs behind

(We've earned the right to be here

Right here's (right) where we belong)

Will we start something right tonight..or

Will two rights make a wrong?

VERSE 2

Let me make a sweet suggestion

Since we're singing the same song

Let's place our bets against regrets

We've been hurtin' way too long

I ache to touch and hold you

(The)My lovin' feelin' is so strong

I say let's kiss and take the risk

Two rights won't make a wrong

REPEAT PRE CHORUS AND CHORUS

TAG

Yeah, let's find out without a doubt

Will two rights make a wrong?

Judge #2 - Catchy lyrics. Really liked the chorus. 

SECOND PLACE

This is also a cute song that didn't need changing.

AN APP FOR YOU

  by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

VERSE 1

I watch you swivel by

And it's love at first look

Gonna try to meet you

By hook or by crook

VERSE 2

 (Popping) Flipping open the cover

Of my mobile device

Hoping it will help me

By offering advice

RAMP

Looking hard for an app 

That will give me a clue

On how to catch your eye

I need an APP FOR YOU

CHORUS

Got apps for sports and movies

Music,games and book reviews

Apps for figuring my taxes

Weather reports, daily news

Apps for almost anything

I can think of, yes, it's true

But to download your sweet love

Gotta find an APP FOR YOU

VERSE 3

An app just for you, babe

Social networks won't do

I'm begging my touch screen

To show an APP FOR YOU

REPEAT CHORUS

Judge #2  - Great idea for a song, but I would change a couple of lines in the first verse, "I watch you walk by, and its love at first sight, gonna try to meet you, I hope its tonight", 2nd verse, first line, I would say "I flip open my mobile device". The rest of the song works pretty well.

THIRD PLACE

I usually don't critique the third place winner but it's a fun song and I had some suggestions.

YOU'VE CAUGHT A KEEPER

  by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx

VERSE 1

First you play me like a fish

And you've really got the knack

Every time you catch me

You find something that I lack

Don't know why you (try to) treat me

Like the one that got away

(I'd like it better if you angled

For a way to make me stay)

Why don't you just throw out a line

As a way to make me stay

VERSE 2

Been hoping that you'll keep me

Finish reelin' in my heart

I took the bait you offered

You've played me from the start

Am I just (too small) not right for keepin'

(Or too much for you to pack)

I need to know the facts

Why (do) you keep on fishin'

If you're (just) gonna throw me back

RAMP  Leave this out.  Your verses are long and it would be better if you could shorten them to 6 lines.

CHORUS  Needs to be shorter with the "hook" up front

I've got a better idea

Take me home tonight

Get hooked on each other

Give up without a fight

Take our own sweet time

To set our hooks in deeper

Let me ease your mind

YOU'VE CAUGHT A KEEPER

MY CHORUS

Yeah, You've caught a keeper

Why can't you see

In no time at all

You'll be hooked on me

Cause I'm a keeper

Yeah, You caught a keeper

Leave Verse 3 out

VERSE 4 (3 now)

If you try me, you might like me

I'm not fishy like you think

But I'm tired of getting caught

And (then) thrown back in the drink

(I'll even let you take my photo

Pin it up with a thumbtack

To remind you of the big one

That you didn't throw back)

I think you might be sorry

If you throw me back someday

Cause I'll just take off swimming

You let the best one get away

REPEAT CHORUS

Judge #2 - Hook is great. Lost me on the ramp & verse 3 & 4. I would not make reference to the lake or swimming, instead I would make reference as to what a great catch you are and she'd be a fool to  let you go - catch and release angle. I would also do some re-phrasing in verse 4 & 5. But overall good start on some "catchy" lyrics

HONORABLE MENTION

SAINTS and SINNERS 

                  by John Walsh, Sydney Australia 

I really liked the first verse and chorus. I would rewrite the other verses leaving references to religion out.  

HONORABLE MENTION

ACRE OF YOU 

by Michael Junek, Cameron, Tx

The lyrics of this song caught my attention, simple but had impact.

Ariel - No Guns & Such by Michael Junek, Cameron, Tx

Really like this song. Very poetic. Form is good.