SEMIFINALISTS
Angels Down the Road by John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO
Peace Is Not So Far Away by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
I Hope You Don’t Mind by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Last Bull, Last Ride by Robert Marshall, Akron, OH
Write Me a Love Song by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Corn Bread by Don Wall, Dallas, Tx
WINNERS
1st Place
Angels Down the Road © John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO
This songwriter has entered the contest with this song before. This is the better version. It could still use a little tightening. But the concept is good. The imagery is strong, as in "dirty hands and angel faces," and "dinosaurs in puffy white skies." The song has good emotional impact, originality, appeal, focus, and form.
There are angels up above
That’s something we all know
And if you’re lucky enough in love
There are angels living right down the road
Right down the road
There are sand box secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road
There’s beauty that’s lighter than the air
A beacon of sun kissed flaxen hair
Love that’s filled with good dreams
On a canvas painted peaches and cream
Down the road
Sweetness is a caramel surprise
With a pool of dark chocolate eyes
Watching clouds of butterflies fly
And finding dinosaurs in puffy white skies
Right down the road
There are sandbox secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road
In the shadows of long summer hours
Angels are hiding behind long legged flowers
Right down the road
Rosy red roses put on a spring show
Rosy red noses when winter winds blow
And angels making angels in the snow
Right down the road
In the glow of an autumn sunset delight
Look for them with all of your might
There are angels hiding in plain sight
Right down the road
Right down the road
There are sandbox secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road
2nd Place
But I'm Cold and Tired, I Hope You Don’t Mind © Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
The title used was the last line of the chorus. I shortened it because it was too long and I think this is better. It leaves a little more to the imagination. The best part about this song is the story. The verses could use a little more tightening with more poignant word usage. The second line of the chorus should be dropped, it’s unnecessary. The emotional impact was high, the hook, appeal, and form good. An original song - the tightening would make it more so.
CHORUS: WE TALKED FOR A WHILE, AS THE STORM PASSED BY
TIME WAS RUNNING OUT, IT WAS NOW OR NEVER
I WANTED TO KISS HER, BUT I WAS NERVOUS AND SHY
I LOOKED IN HER EYES, AND SAID I NEED YOU FOREVER
SHE SMILED BACK, AND SAID YOU’VE BEEN VERY KIND
BUT I’M COLD AND TIRED, I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND
V-1 SHE WAS WAITING FOR A BUS, THAT NEVER DID COME
SHE NEEDED SOME HELP NOW, AND I WAS THE ONE
I ASKED WHAT CAN I DO, SHE SAID I NEED TO GET HOME
WE WALKED THERE TOGETHER, SHE WOULDN’T TRY IT ALONE
V-2 RAIN WAS POURING DOWN, THUNDER CRASHING ABOVE
BUT I DIDN’T HEAR A THING, I WAS FALLING IN LOVE
I HELD MY UMBRELLA, RIGHT OVER HER HEAD
THE WIND WAS HOWLING, NOT SURE WHAT SHE SAID
V-3 WHEN WE FINALLY GOT THERE, IT WAS AWKWARD AT BEST
SHE SAID THANKS A LOT, I IMAGINED THE REST
MY TOUNGE WAS TIED, IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
SHE SAID COME IN AND DRY OFF, THAT SOUNDED JUST RIGHT
CHORUS: WE TALKED FOR A WHILE, AS THE STORM PASSED BY
WAS RUNNING OUT, IT WAS NOW OR NEVER
I WANTED TO KISS HER, BUT I WAS NERVOUS AND SHY
I LOOKED IN HER EYES, AND SAID I NEED YOU FOREVER
SHE SMILED BACK, AND SAID YOU’VE BEEN VERY KIND
BUT I’M COLD AND TIRED, I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND
V-4 I SLOWLY WALKED OUT, SAID GOOD BYE FROM THE DOOR
MY MOUTH OPENED UP, BUT I COULDN’T SAY ANYMORE
IT WAS A LONG WALK HOME, I NEEDED A FRIEND
MAYBE TOMORROW, IT’LL BE RAINING AGAIN
3rd Place
Write Me a Love Song © Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
An original take on an unoriginal idea. Reading the title I was not expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised. Fortunately, the songwriter gave it only the thought required - not overthinking it and not overly simplistic. The hook, appeal, focus form and phrasing are good. A good song. With the right music and singer, it would be even better.
CHORUS: WRITE ME A LOVE SONG, AND MEAN EVERY WORD
MAKE IT THE SWEETEST, SONG EVER HEARD
DON’T KEEP IT SHORT, PLEASE MAKE IT LONG
THEN SING IT TO ME, MY OWN LOVE SONG
V-1 WRITE ABOUT ME, PUT MY NAME IN THE VERSE
TALK ABOUT LOVE, BUT MENTION ME FIRST
TELL THE WHOLE WORLD, JUST HOW YOU FEEL
WRITE ME A LOVE SONG, KEEP EVERY WORD REAL
V-2 TAKE ALL THOSE WORDS, YOU HIDE IN YOUR HEAD
AN’ PUT THEM IN THE SONGBOOK, YOU KEEP BY YOUR BED
I CAN’T WAIT TO READ IT, I JUST HAVE TO SEE
THE STORY YOU TELL, IN A SONG ABOUT ME
V-3 FILL UP MY SONG, WITH RHYTHM AND RYME
SING IT ON KEY, AN’ PLAY IT IN TIME
DON’T TRY TOO HARD, WRITE WHAT COMES TO MIND
ALL ABOUT US, AND THE LOVE WE FIND
V-4 WRITE ME A SONG, THAT’LL LAST ALL MY LIFE
AND SING IT TO ME, WHEN I MAKE YOU MY WIFE
PUT IT ON A RECORD, AN’ I’LL PAINT IT GOLD
AND PLAY IT A MILLION TIMES, LOVE NEVER SOUNDS OLD
Angels Down the Road by John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO
Peace Is Not So Far Away by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
I Hope You Don’t Mind by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Last Bull, Last Ride by Robert Marshall, Akron, OH
Write Me a Love Song by Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
Corn Bread by Don Wall, Dallas, Tx
WINNERS
1st Place
Angels Down the Road © John Thomas Lane, Monument, CO
This songwriter has entered the contest with this song before. This is the better version. It could still use a little tightening. But the concept is good. The imagery is strong, as in "dirty hands and angel faces," and "dinosaurs in puffy white skies." The song has good emotional impact, originality, appeal, focus, and form.
There are angels up above
That’s something we all know
And if you’re lucky enough in love
There are angels living right down the road
Right down the road
There are sand box secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road
There’s beauty that’s lighter than the air
A beacon of sun kissed flaxen hair
Love that’s filled with good dreams
On a canvas painted peaches and cream
Down the road
Sweetness is a caramel surprise
With a pool of dark chocolate eyes
Watching clouds of butterflies fly
And finding dinosaurs in puffy white skies
Right down the road
There are sandbox secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road
In the shadows of long summer hours
Angels are hiding behind long legged flowers
Right down the road
Rosy red roses put on a spring show
Rosy red noses when winter winds blow
And angels making angels in the snow
Right down the road
In the glow of an autumn sunset delight
Look for them with all of your might
There are angels hiding in plain sight
Right down the road
Right down the road
There are sandbox secrets being told
Down the road
There are rainbows for chasing
Little feet for little racing
Dirty hands and angel faces
Full of life and sweet embraces
Right down the road
2nd Place
But I'm Cold and Tired, I Hope You Don’t Mind © Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
The title used was the last line of the chorus. I shortened it because it was too long and I think this is better. It leaves a little more to the imagination. The best part about this song is the story. The verses could use a little more tightening with more poignant word usage. The second line of the chorus should be dropped, it’s unnecessary. The emotional impact was high, the hook, appeal, and form good. An original song - the tightening would make it more so.
CHORUS: WE TALKED FOR A WHILE, AS THE STORM PASSED BY
TIME WAS RUNNING OUT, IT WAS NOW OR NEVER
I WANTED TO KISS HER, BUT I WAS NERVOUS AND SHY
I LOOKED IN HER EYES, AND SAID I NEED YOU FOREVER
SHE SMILED BACK, AND SAID YOU’VE BEEN VERY KIND
BUT I’M COLD AND TIRED, I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND
V-1 SHE WAS WAITING FOR A BUS, THAT NEVER DID COME
SHE NEEDED SOME HELP NOW, AND I WAS THE ONE
I ASKED WHAT CAN I DO, SHE SAID I NEED TO GET HOME
WE WALKED THERE TOGETHER, SHE WOULDN’T TRY IT ALONE
V-2 RAIN WAS POURING DOWN, THUNDER CRASHING ABOVE
BUT I DIDN’T HEAR A THING, I WAS FALLING IN LOVE
I HELD MY UMBRELLA, RIGHT OVER HER HEAD
THE WIND WAS HOWLING, NOT SURE WHAT SHE SAID
V-3 WHEN WE FINALLY GOT THERE, IT WAS AWKWARD AT BEST
SHE SAID THANKS A LOT, I IMAGINED THE REST
MY TOUNGE WAS TIED, IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
SHE SAID COME IN AND DRY OFF, THAT SOUNDED JUST RIGHT
CHORUS: WE TALKED FOR A WHILE, AS THE STORM PASSED BY
WAS RUNNING OUT, IT WAS NOW OR NEVER
I WANTED TO KISS HER, BUT I WAS NERVOUS AND SHY
I LOOKED IN HER EYES, AND SAID I NEED YOU FOREVER
SHE SMILED BACK, AND SAID YOU’VE BEEN VERY KIND
BUT I’M COLD AND TIRED, I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND
V-4 I SLOWLY WALKED OUT, SAID GOOD BYE FROM THE DOOR
MY MOUTH OPENED UP, BUT I COULDN’T SAY ANYMORE
IT WAS A LONG WALK HOME, I NEEDED A FRIEND
MAYBE TOMORROW, IT’LL BE RAINING AGAIN
3rd Place
Write Me a Love Song © Bill Kapac, Williamstown, NJ
An original take on an unoriginal idea. Reading the title I was not expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised. Fortunately, the songwriter gave it only the thought required - not overthinking it and not overly simplistic. The hook, appeal, focus form and phrasing are good. A good song. With the right music and singer, it would be even better.
CHORUS: WRITE ME A LOVE SONG, AND MEAN EVERY WORD
MAKE IT THE SWEETEST, SONG EVER HEARD
DON’T KEEP IT SHORT, PLEASE MAKE IT LONG
THEN SING IT TO ME, MY OWN LOVE SONG
V-1 WRITE ABOUT ME, PUT MY NAME IN THE VERSE
TALK ABOUT LOVE, BUT MENTION ME FIRST
TELL THE WHOLE WORLD, JUST HOW YOU FEEL
WRITE ME A LOVE SONG, KEEP EVERY WORD REAL
V-2 TAKE ALL THOSE WORDS, YOU HIDE IN YOUR HEAD
AN’ PUT THEM IN THE SONGBOOK, YOU KEEP BY YOUR BED
I CAN’T WAIT TO READ IT, I JUST HAVE TO SEE
THE STORY YOU TELL, IN A SONG ABOUT ME
V-3 FILL UP MY SONG, WITH RHYTHM AND RYME
SING IT ON KEY, AN’ PLAY IT IN TIME
DON’T TRY TOO HARD, WRITE WHAT COMES TO MIND
ALL ABOUT US, AND THE LOVE WE FIND
V-4 WRITE ME A SONG, THAT’LL LAST ALL MY LIFE
AND SING IT TO ME, WHEN I MAKE YOU MY WIFE
PUT IT ON A RECORD, AN’ I’LL PAINT IT GOLD
AND PLAY IT A MILLION TIMES, LOVE NEVER SOUNDS OLD
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