Enter Today.

Lyricists! Here’s your chance to shine! Enter The Dallas Songwriters Quarterly Lyric Contest Entry fee is $10 per lyric.

Quarterly Entry Deadlines: Winter - March 31 * Spring - June 30 * Summer - September 30 * Fall - December 31


PRIZES TO BE AWARDED

Of course the MAIN prize is what we ALL aspire to:

RECOGNITION FOR OUR LYRICAL WORK!

ALSO: The 1st place winning lyricist receives:

A certificate, $50 cash and a 1 year DSA membership.

The 1st, 2nd, 3rd place winner's lyrics and judges critiques will be published in the DSA “Songwriters Notes” and on the DSA Website.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Fall 2010 Winners


FALL 2010 WINNERS

SEMIFINALISTS

CARDBOARD DADDY
by Richard Keller, Orlando, FL
SOMETHIN' BOUT SOUTHERN GIRLS
by Richard Keller, Orlando, FL
LET'S GAMBLE ON US
by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx
GRANDPA (WHY YOU DRIVE SO SLOW?)
by Tom Biles, Keller, Tx

FIRST PLACE

CARDBOARD DADDY by Richard Keller, Orlando, Tx
I will critique as I type. This is a clever song and speaks to us all. The words or lines in parenthesis should be removed but I've also added a word here and there to make the meters match. The song is pretty long and each verse should be trimmed to 6 lines. I trimmed the chorus. It's a great song but it really needs to be shortened. Look for at least 2 lines in each verse that could be removed.

VERSE 1
The pretty young wife cried softly
The red tail lights faded away
He was off to the front lines
A brave young Green Beret
She recalled a childhood memory
A fateful knock on the door
Her father was a soldier too
But he didn't make it home from war

VERSE 2
Their son wanted to see daddy
She found a creative way
Made a life-sized cardboard photo
They saw him every day
(There were lots of fun memories
Cardboard daddy was there for them all
A birthday party, a touchdown catch
And many games of tee-ball)
He never missed a party
A Christmas or tee-ball
Yes, he was there for them all

CHORUS
So if you see a man in uniform
Walk up and shake his hand
(And thank the hero next to him
The one driving a mini-van)
Cause behind every Cardboard Daddy
There's a woman stronger than steel
Though our gratitude is genuine
(But) Her sacrifice is real

VERSE 3
It was career day in 1st grade
Each child got to speak
The fathers sat at a (blue) table
Cardboard Daddy took a seat
(The boy) He said "My daddy's in Afghanistan
For 7 months he's been away..."
Then a loud knock on the door
Stopped what he had to say

VERSE 4
In walked a handsome soldier
Wearing a smile and a Green Beret
(The little boy) He cried out "Daddy"
And ran to him right away
They hugged each other tightly
Tears filled everyone's eyes
Mom watched from the corner
She had planned the whole surprise

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE This should come before the 2nd chorus
Every child and father rose
Gave the soldier a standing ovation
He joined them at the (blue) table
(And) Sent Cardboard Daddy on vacation

REPEAT CHORUS

TAG
Oh yes, behind every Cardboard Daddy
There's a woman stronger than steel


SECOND PLACE

SOMETHIN' 'BOUT SOUTHERN GIRLS by Richard Keller, Orlando, Tx
This is a cute song but way too long. I've added a few words to make the meters match but I've mostly tried to shorten your song by removing lines and verses. I'll put these in parenthesis.

VERSE 1
I have sailed the globe
On those Navy ships
Seen lots of pretty girls
Yeah, kissed a few lips

Take his verse out
VERSE 2
(Those brown-eyed senoritas
Made me look twice
Met blond Swedish girls
That could melt the ice)

VERSE 3
But the prettiest girls
I ever did see
Were all back home
In (Alabama) Tennessee

CHORUS This needs to be condensed and I made it shorter and catchier
'Cause Southern girls
Are God's gift to males
Perfect white teeth
Long red nails
(Tan legs with daisy dukes
Big hair and cowboy boots
She makes pecan pie
Writes thank you notes
Cuter then hell
Laughs at your jokes)
Wearin' just a t-shirt
Or dressed up with pearls
There's somethin' 'bout them Southern girls

VERSE 3
Take this verse out
(I drove to Mississippi
Just to hear those girls talk
Crowned Ms. South Carolina
Just to see her walk)

REPLACE IT WITH THIS
Texas girls are smart
With good looks to match
If you could lasso one
You'd have quite a catch

VERSE 4
Ain't nothin' sweeter
Than a Georgia peach
Florida girls are hot
Bikinis on the beach

REPEAT CHORUS...My version
'Cause Southern girls
Are God's gift to males
Perfect white teeth
Long red nails
Wearin' just a t-shirt
Or dressed up in pearls
There's somethin' 'bout them Southern girls

VERSE 5
Take this verse out...you don't need it or put in a short 2 line bridge
(Saw a Kentucky cheerleader
Sippin bourbon from a cup
Threw some beads in Louisiana
Girl pulled her t-shirt up)

REPEAT CHORUS starting with You gotta love 'em

TAG
Yes, wearin' just a t-shirt
Or dressed up with pearls
There's somethin' 'bout them Southern girls

THIRD PLACE

LET'S GAMBLE ON US by Larry Dodge, Dallas, Tx
This is a cute song but instead of 8 verses of 3 lines, make 4 verses of 6 lines each or 2 verses on 8 lines.
It's still going to be a little long.

HONORABLE MENTION

GRANDPA (WHY YOU DRIVE SO SLOW) by Tom Biles, Keller, Tx
A good country song and I was surprised at the answer.

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